Dear Sisters and Brothers,
Wives, give way to your husbands, as you should in the Lord. Husbands love your wives, and treat them with gentleness. Children, be obedient to your parents always, because that is what will please the Lord. Parents never drive your children to resentment or you will make them feel frustrated.
Nice thoughts aren’t they, but a little quaint for 21st Century England! It sounds like something out of one of Dickens’ novels that are often dramatized on the TV around this time of the year. But no, it comes from our second reading at Mass on this the Feast of the Holy Family as I am sure you will have noted. Given the context of the Society in which we live, are these sentiments realistic? Are they possible? Is the Church just burying its head in the sand? Do we Catholics go around with our eyes closed?
I am sure there will be people, good people, who would be quite affronted at some of St Paul’s advice and encouragement. I can remember several couples coming to me for marriage preparation who would automatically count this reading out for their wedding ceremony. So there is no doubt that the ideal of “the family” is experiencing difficulties both from Society and even from members of the Church.
But has there ever been an age when the family was seen and experienced by most as without fault or ideal in every way? Go right back to Genesis. The relationship between our first parents and the Creator was ruptured. The union between Adam and Eve was distorted. The fraternal bond between Cain and Abel was damaged. And so on through the Scriptures and throughout history.
Even the Holy Family was not a “normal” family. Mary found herself to be pregnant, albeit by the power of the Holy Spirit, in difficult circumstances. Joseph needed an extraordinary vision/dream from God to convince him that it was the right thing to take Mary as his wife and to bring up the child Jesus as his own. The political situation at the time forced them to become refugees and live in a foreign country. And even when they returned home they were not sure if it was really safe. We read in the gospel for this feast: But when he (Joseph) heard that Archelaus had succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judea he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream, he left for the region of Galilee.
Joseph, Jesus’ foster-father, was guided by God’s caring hand. Mary was open to the Holy Spirit and was ready to accept God’s Holy Word. sought to do the Father’s will and was strengthened by his relationship with Him as His only-begotten Son. The Holy family was drawn together and preserved by the very power and love of God. The same is true of our families. The same has been true of all families throughout the ages. Unless we allow the love of God to enter into and permeate our families then we will find it almost impossible. That is why we, who are members of the Church have been given, and need the great gift of the Sacrament of Matrimony.
If the scripture quote from St Paul at the beginning of this letter is not to remain fanciful, unrealistic and even confrontational then we need to be open as a family, as families to the power and the grace of God. There are many other things we might need as well, but this openness is absolutely fundamental. We need to learn to appreciate again the wonderful gift that we have been given as God’s People in the Sacrament of Matrimony, recognising that without it we are seriously deprived.
May all our prayers be joined, on this the Feast of the Holy Family, with the prayer of the Church for married couples and their families which is said as a Nuptial Blessing.
Grant O Lord that they may share with one another the gifts of your love and, by being for each other a sign of your presence, become one heart and one mind. May they also sustain, O Lord, by their deeds, the home they are forming and prepare their children to become members of your heavenly household by raising them in the way of the Gospel.
With the every blessing of this Holy Season to you and your families and friends, I am,
Yours in blessed hope,
+ Terence Patrick
Bishop of Middlesbrough
Feast of the Immaculate Conception 09.12.2013