It is with feelings of profound sadness that we record the untimely death of Mary Crotty Bryan (age 52), of Kilrossanty, Co. Waterford and Thornaby. Mary passed away unexpectedly on the morning of Thursday 24th January in Waterford Regional Hospital. We can all take comfort from the knowledge that she was surrounded by her husband and family.

The life and loss of a loved one so special as Mary can, at times like these, make words seem inadequate to reflect the enormous influence she had on others. However, it is hoped that these few words will capture, if only briefly and insufficiently, a little of the essence of Mary – Mary the wife, daughter, sister and sister-in-law, aunt, friend and teacher.

Whatever your relationship to Mary, everyone was very, very special to her. Over the last few days memories of Mary have been recalled; many have shared publicly their thoughts and feelings so that all could benefit from the store of memories of Mary. Many have quietly chosen to remember Mary privately. Whichever, all will recognise some of those thoughts and feelings in the words spoken here. Doubtless, still more beautiful and special memories of Mary will be rekindled in the months and years to come to comfort and remind of Mary’s wonderful gifts. Mary will live on in those memories.

Mary is now at peace, re-united with her father Johnny and her mother Margaret (who predeceased her by five months), also her niece Chloe who held a very special place in Mary’s heart. Mary had a huge faith; real and enviable about such matters. So sure was she of God’s mercy that it mattered not to her whether we believed. As she said on many an occasion, ‘Sure don’t I believe for you!’

Mary grew up in Kilrossanty with her two sisters and seven brothers under the careful guidance of their parents, Margaret and Johnny, for whom Mary had enormous respect and gratitude. Mary’s strong links with her close and loving family endured throughout her life and she never failed to visit and meet with each family member on her visits home two or three times a year.

Mary’s adult life and career began in 1973 when she went to England to train to become a Primary School teacher at Endsleigh College in Hull. She took up her first teaching post in St Alphonsus School in the Diocese of Middlesbrough.

It quickly became evident that Mary was a very able and committed teacher. She was highly regarded by colleagues, parents and pupils alike, quite an achievement in an area of high social deprivation. She was soon promoted to a position of responsibility when, in 1984 she was appointed as Deputy Headteacher of St Pius School. At that time Mary was the youngest deputy headteacher in the county. Throughout her life in England Mary continued to meet past pupils, each of whom thanked her for the special care which she took to nurture their talents and to build their confidence and self esteem.

Mary’s total commitment to children and her career continued and, in 1988, she was appointed Headteacher of Egton Bridge School in North Yorkshire, some 30 miles away from her home, again as one of the youngest headteachers in the country. Thus, Mary was at the pinnacle of her career when her tragic car accident, while travelling home from work, cut short her career and totally altered the course of her life.

Mary was a born leader and guide and, despite the accident on 8th December 1989, she continued to teach us all how to live life with dignity and care for all, despite the enormity of her own personal loss 18 years ago when the Mary we knew was so cruelly taken from us by her accident. Despite this, she, and we, continued to gain so much from Mary’s continuing example of fortitude, courage and acceptance and total belief in God’s love.

Mary was very, very proud of all her nieces and nephews. Most of you, her nieces and nephews, will have little, if any, memory of Mary before her accident and it is a tribute to Mary’s stalwart recovery that you all continue to remember her warmly and fondly. You have recalled that Mary never, ever forgot anybody’s special occasion and that she always wrote beautiful cards with lovely messages.

Mary’s family was of such importance to her as she was to them. Again, it has been recalled that Mary was a great link; as her niece said, she kept us all connected after Granny died – she’s always kept everyone connected by keeping in touch with all of the family. Mary’s friends, too, know of that connectedness. Some people here had not met one another for several decades and yet each knew of the other’s key life events – such was Mary’s ability to link them all.

Mary and Tony married in 2000 and they continued to offer love, care and support for one another along life’s journey. Since their marriage Mary and Tony have been constant companions and went everywhere together. Tony is sure to feel Mary’s loss very deeply.

A constant theme of the recollections of Mary was her ability to make each and every person she met feel special; her laughter, her sense of humour and fun; a truly colourful woman – larger than life itself; always immaculately dressed and colour co-ordinated; loved her strong perfumes! Her very real care and concern for others, love of life and her affirmation of the talents and abilities of everyone.

Mary’s ability to include everyone stretched out wherever she was. While in college she was the president of the Catechetics Society, where an enduring bond of friendship was established with Steph, and where she warmly welcomed and enabled others to teach catechetics on Saturday mornings to children who didn’t attend Catholic schools. Throughout her life Mary continued to contribute enormously to her parish and diocese; most recently as a special minister of the Eucharist and previously as leader of St Joseph’s Church music group.

Mary also loved Lourdes where she continued to take a leadership role within the music group, often encouraging the talents and skills of everyone, however humble. Her belief in everyone’s talents was also recalled by her nieces and nephews who spoke of how Mary always encouraged them to celebrate and take pride in their talents.

Above all, Mary was one of the most enabling and supportive people anyone could wish to meet. She reached out to absolutely everyone with genuine warmth and pleasure.

To quote St Francis de Sales:

‘Do not fear for what may happen tomorrow. The same loving God who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day. Either he will shield you from suffering or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.’

Mary is irreplaceable; a tragic, tragic loss to all.

God bless you Mary.
Ar dheis lamh De go raibh si.

Re-printed by kind permission of the Dungarvan Leader